The Origin story of Mahdroo's Name:

One day five years ago I self actualized... POP! At that time, if you had been malkovching into mind, you would have seen that a lot happened all at once. Most important was that I was in utter awe, and in this awe I realized I could have anything I wanted out of life, literally anything, and I was absolutely certain to my core of this fact. However, at this time I was unaccustomed to wanting things. I was rusty and found it difficult, so I started trying to think of things to want. Here is a list of things I immediately thought of:
- A sandwhich (but no, I realized I had already eaten and wasn't hungry)
- A new car (alas, I liked the car I had)
- A new apartment (liked the one I had)
- A girlfriend (turns out I liked the freedom of not having one, and feeling like a victim about not having one)
-I wanted the ability to lift a truck over my head (I had it. I had enough money to rent a crane, etc).

I thought of more things to want only to keep realizing that I did not honestly want them. Within 5 minutes I had exhausted my creativity. I came to understand that I did not want "things." This left me befuddled. What was there to want? I paused for some time, mind ablank, standing there looking stupid.

Then, in that emptiness, a little voice in the back of my head said "well, I have an idea for something we could want." To which I replied "oh, what is your idea little voice?" and it said "well, how about a new name?" And I must have looked confused so the little voice elaborated "...an awesome name! The best name ever!" And getting the idea I grew enthused "Oh!!! That is a really good idea! I would LOVE a new name, an awesome name! That would be really extraordinarily wonderful!"

Now, what neither I nor the little voice knew at that time, was that a new name was really the first manifestation of deeper change that was blossoming inside me. The idea was that I could truly and completely be myself. Be exactly who I am, all the time, with everyone. Instead of trying to be who I believed others wanted me to be, I could just. be. me. It was the possibility of acceptance.

And KABLOOOOOMMM!!!!! The idea unfolded in my mind, and it felt like every birthday and Christmas combined into one. I got REALLY excited. I could have a name that sounded like what I am like. Truth in advertising if you will. A name that would convey to others exactly what I am like, that would express all the enthusiasm and creativity that make up me. A name that was my own creation, unique and mine and amazing! I dropped what I was doing and ran off to create my new stupendous name.

Mind you, all of this was happening in a matter of minutes. It was very intense (just like me), but now dear reader, please flashback in time with me to 6 months prior to this event. On this day farther back in my past, I had not self actualized. On this day I was in an odd part of Los Angeles, and talking to some random strangers, as I am often found to be doing, and in this case I had just said to several black women "Why do you guys have such funny names?" and they were ALL visibly shook and, like, "awww hell naww!" "No you didn't!" Then one woman saw that I was looking at them with this naive waiting curiousity and she said "oh, you're just a stupid curious white boy...okay. Here's the deal. Our parents thought that each of us was unique and wanted us to have names that were an expression of that uniqueness. So instead of using names that already existed, they made up new ones by combining words together." And I said "AWESOME! I wish I had a cool unique name. But I didn't. My name was Matt.

Now, flash forward with me back to my self actualizing experience. When we left me I had set out to make my new name. I got a pencil and paper and started writing every word I could think of that I like. My favorite word is shellac. That didn't help any. In fact, nearly none of the words worked, because I was determined to have a "k" sound in my name. Very masculine, I thought. After spending quite a while failing to find a masculine name that suited me, it occurred to me that I am not particularly masculine. I thought "what am I like?" and I immediately envisioned myself running through a crowd enthusiastically yelling "WHOOOOOOOOOO!" at the top of my voice. Clearly I needed "oo" in my name. There were surprisingly few O's in all my words. The first word I had written down was Madrona: a native American tree with red peely bark and fruit that looked like a thousand exclamation points. I added this word to the best adjective that described me: Kooky, and I got Madrooky. That did not work. Not enough OOH! So I said "Mahdroo" and immediately I knew that I had it. I lept up and ran to my computer to google it. No spelling of Mahdroo was a word. I then picked the spelling of my choice, deciding that Madroo would sound like a crazy marsupial. Silent H.

I got every login name under Mahdroo. I got Mahdroo.com I went all out. In the coming days I told everyone I knew, and then everyone I ever knew, and my family and friends. I told them all this very long story that you have just read, and I asked them all to call me Mahdroo from now on. Many had concerns and objections and reasons why they didn't want to call me Mahdroo, and I listened to them all, and asked them to call me Mahdroo anyways. And that was back in 2005. I have been Mahdroo ever since.

The one thing I have left out of the story is the doubt. All along the way, there were little bouts of doubt. And to those I would say "well, if I can do anything then nothing can stop me, and this name can be my test of that. If can't make this name work and stick and be everything I ever dreamed it would be, then maybe I can't do anything." And every day my name proves to me that I can do anything, that I can shape whatever future I choose for myself. That is the meaning of my name.

Oh, wait, no. Sometimes people ask "what does your name mean?" and I randomly decided that it meant "he who brings cookies... or enthusiasm." They are the same, I think.